There are times when we are in the midst of something hard, and we are exhausted, possibly in pain and completely depleted, yet we can't just stop. In fact, it would be like just letting go of a life preserver just as you are seeing the shore in the horizon! How do you make it through to safety? Here are some ways I push through:
When I Hit a Wall - Metaphorically, when I think of a wall, I never imagine just going over or around it. A wall to me is something that is too high and too wide to avoid and the only way to get past it is through it. Living with a chronic illness, dealing with the loss of a loved one, raising a child with special needs or living through a pandemic are all examples of going through something that you can't avoid. You just have to deal. The best (and only) way that I have gotten through the walls in my life is to face it all each day and telling myself, "tomorrow is a new day". Sometimes it feels like denial to wake up the next day and start over, but truly, it has kept me going when I am faced with a wall situation. Think about it this way: when you are doing a home renovation and you are removing a wall, it takes a lot of effort to just bust it up. Once you are through the wall, you begin to see how things might look, even though you have all the clean up and finishing still to do. Removing walls is hard work, but when you are through them, it's a beautiful sight to see. Hang in there. One day at a time.
When I Am Afraid - Fear can be paralyzing. It not only can stop you from moving ahead, it can keep you from moving AT ALL. So, how do you push past that fear and keep going? For me, if it's a new situation, learning about it, as much as I can, beforehand helps me to feel more comfortable. If it's a task I need to do, I also seem to do better giving myself some time mentally to prepare, by thinking of any things that could happen. Spur of the moment fears seem to be the most difficult for me because not only am I afraid of whatever it is, but, I hate being blindsided by something, so it's a double whammy! But, I have gotten through those by just dealing with those one moment at a time. I am a person who sees all the possibilities in any given situation (especially all of the scary ones) and I can go down a rabbit hole of fear if I am not careful, so I choose to take it a moment at a time and try not to consider the "what ifs" at that moment, especially if I don't have all the facts yet! My husband helps reign me in during those moments, too. Talking to someone who helps to keep you focused on the moment right now and dealing with that is always good to talk to, so if you feel like you are letting fear control you, ask for help if you need it!
When There Are Issues I Can't Control - I usually love being in control. Being out of control makes me feel all out of sorts and hopeless at times. It can make me feel weak, vulnerable and at the very least give me anxiety and irritation, however, if I look at those situations that there is no way I can ever control anyway, it can also be very freeing for a control freak like myself. If I am not in control, it's not my responsibility to fix it and I am not the blame for it. If a situation is out of my control, I can only focus on the things I can do, so I shift my thoughts to those things. If it is a terrifying situation that I can't control, I sometimes talk it to death, cry it out or even totally do something that can help me completely block it out for a moment or two, but there is a small, hidden, manner of comfort that it's not for me to control anyway. Sometimes just a bit of comfort is what we need to push through that situation you can't control and get to the other side. So learn to rest in that during those moments.
When I Am Completely Drained - For me, when I am completely drained, it is the single hardest thing for me to push through. When I feel like this, I want to just quit whatever it is and give up for good. I have not only met my intellectual limit, but, my emotional and physical limit as well. Sometimes, I have given up or given in and then I feel even worse. However, over the years I have learned a few tricks that seems to help during those times as well: Walk away (for now). Do something else. Get out of the situation for a moment. Stop and take a breath. Hand it to someone else to carry for a bit, or even just asking for help itself can sometimes give you the extra push you need to keep on going. Have you ever heard the term "sleep on it"? Usually we think of that when we have a big decision to make, but, this is also good for those times you know you need to keep going, but just physically can't do that today. One night of rest can make a huge difference at times in how you can face that obstacle the next day and give you the strength you need to push through. So take a moment, you will be glad you did.
There are a lot of times you will face a situation that you just have to push through. There may be no way around it or over it and you may feel you end up under it, but, you can get through it. It may just take a few different tries, some different ideas or even some help from some friends, but you will make it, I promise!